Updates

First off, I want to appologize for lack of updates. I've been very busy with school and countless doctor's visits. If you are one of my followers or earlier readers you may know I've been going through some rough times especially with my health. I've been diagnosed with psoriasis, and then severe psoriatic arthrits that's crippling my joints.All that really stressed me out and then school on top of that and breakup with my bf/fiancee of almost 5 yrs so it all really had a big impact on my life. After the break up everything went downhill starting with my health.It all took a big toll on my health and my life. After going in and out of doctor's office trying to establish what's wrong I was just slowly falling apart. Seemed like it was one thing after another. Then I kept having severe gallbladder attacks, and doctors did not even know what it was. I've had gallbladder attacks for 7 yrs and I even ended up in the emergency 3 times and they just sent me home. After going to many doctors I finally found one that actually did all the proper tests and he scheduled me to have a surgery, but in the meanwhile I had 4 attacks in 2 months and all lasted about 13 hrs which is not normal and again the hospital just sent me home. My surgeon was shocked that doctors couldnt establish what was wrong and properly diagnose me because he said I could've died if I did not have an emergency surgery. How crazy is that? Finding all that stuff out at 22/23.
I sorta became depressed because I felt like my world was falling apart. I quit my job and went back to school, we broke up after almost 5 yrs, then I kept having attacks and getting diagnosed with things plus school on top of that..it was just too much. The treatment options for my condition here are just ridicilous to me. They keep telling me try one thing then try another now try this and that, and nothing works. Stuff they want to put me on costs $1,500 without coverage and its something I definitely cannot afford, I don't know who can afford to pay that amount per month per injection. My options include remicade and metotraxate and are all really powerful immune suppers ants. I am afraid to start them because now that my gallbladder is gone I only have my liver and don't really want to jeopardize it. Plus, they want me to start some pills for 9 months, then metotraxate for another 9 months and after that start remicade. Maybe if I become a millionaire I could afford this until then I guess I should slowly die on my own lol (just kidding). It just seems like it's never ending. I've been experiencing other issues now and I just got back from doctors office now, and I'm going to have to go again Friday to turn to figure out what's wrong. It's never ending, but I'm not going to give up. I've been trying some herbal pills hopefully that will help with inflammation or with pain. My joints are constantly swollen. There is times when I can't use my hands/fingers. Not to mention times when I cannot get up of the bed without taking pills(especially with the weather change.
I know this is a long post, and I don't want to bore anyone, I just felt like I should let you guys know as to why I don't update as much. There's times when I feel so down because this is affecting me both physically and emotionally as well. I feel like I let myself go. I gained so much weight, I cut my hair and bangs and from dying it so many times I damanged it so it's taking forever for it to grow. I'm just not myself but I really want to try to fix things. Hope you all understand. I'm going to try to post more.
xoxo